DOWNTON ABBEY MOTTO

I bought my new wall calendar because I liked the January page: “Keep Calm And Set New Goals.” Now I’ve flipped through it and every single month says “Keep Calm” followed by different sayings.. Also, with the tiny outline of a magnificent mansion. It’s a Downton Abbey calendar.  Duh! And  “Keep Calm” must be their family motto. No doubt inscribed on their family crest, their  coat of arms and the note paper supplied in their fourteen guest rooms.

I should have known, because last year I bought a Downton Abbey tee shirt that says “Stay Calm And Ring Carson For Tea.”

Yep, I’m a hard core Downton Abbey fan. Between 8 and 10 PM on Sunday nights, I am unreachable. Last Sun. night Dallas called out that he was hungry. I crammed an oreo cookie in his mouth and ran back to the den.  Stephen, my beloved son who lives in California, phoned and I snapped, “Downton Abbey is on. Call tomorrow.”

But about that family motto: it you want a laugh, try to apply it to the show’s plot and characters.

Keep Calm – though Lady Sylvia elopes with the chauffeur and dies in childbirth.

Keep Calm – though the manor house is ablaze with a major fire.

Keep Calm – though Lady Edith has a little girl our of wedlock, her lover vanishes, and she acts so gaga over the child that the caregivers tell her basically to butt out.

Keep Calm – though Lady Mary has a country inn tryst with Tony  (Lord Something-Or-Other). After all,  her reputation was already threatened when the Turkish Ambassador’s son had a fatal  heart attack in – gasp! – her bed.

Keep Calm – though a Russian Prince emigre turns up at teatime, meaningfully kisses Gran’s hand (the incomparable Maggie Smith). she rolls her big eyes demurely, and we KNOW they had a thing going, fifty years ago. Wow! (Or as the Brits say, we are “gobsmacked!)

This is just the life “Upstairs.”  Meanwhile, we know stuff about  “Downstairs” life that the family doesn’t. How can we Keep Calm, when maybe Bates killed Mr. Green, Daisy leaves Mrs. Patmore alone to prepare those six course dinners, and true love might blossom at last between  Mr. Carson (so dignified, but with a Teddy Bear heart) ) and the sweet housekeeper, Mrs. Montgomery (is that her name?).

Oh, dear.  So much to worry about. Maybe  I should have chosen another calendar.